by atomicspin

10. Stop being so exhausting

It's #10 but I listed it first for a reason. The guys that fish for compliments, bitch and moan about imaginary shit like "Friend Zone," or just sit their in their own self-pity are just that. Exhausting. What the hell do you think you're doing? Hey, we all have our weak moments and feel like crap and it's good to share that with the people you know already dig you but why are you going out on dates and doing this? You really need to think of getting compliments or sympathy like a well. Feel free to draw from the well when you need it but remember that everyone has different sizes of wells. Some guys use this as their shtick and a lot of women will deal with it for a bit and maybe think it's cute or that they can build you up but, in the end, they're exhausted and move on.

Stop asking, "Does she like me?" (If you have to ask, probably not). No more, "Should I call her?" (Yes. Fuck, call her already). Stop being this little brat who needs their hand held at every turn. You're just draining yourself and everyone around you.

9. Let her cheer you up

Once you're grumpy, why are you so stubborn about being grumpy? Beyond a chemical imbalance I watch too many guys come in to the bar in a grumpy mood and sit their with their girlfriend trying to cheer them up and never letting her do it. You're being stubborn. Grumpy has become this scratchy, horrible burlap bag that you've wrapped yourself in and you refuse to take it off. Man, she's trying to make you feel better. Let her! Bonus points: She gets to feel great because what she did worked to make you feel better. It's a growth experience that makes you two become closer for it. Now you can get out there and have an awesome night.

8. Find your Vegas

Hey, the world is always trying to beat down your door just to kick you in the nuts, take your delicious ice cream, make you watch reruns of "Caroline in the City," and destroy your relationship. Thought that's not strictly true, it does feel that way sometimes. As your lives become more and more entwined, the day-to-day stuff is going to suck some of that initial fun out of you two. My wife and I have Vegas.

In Vegas we leave all that junk behind and just focus on the fun part of us being together. We act like it was when we first started dating. Even if it's only for a few days. It doesn't have to be actual Vegas. Vegas is a metaphor for a spot that you two can go to just "get out of Dodge" for a bit. Reconnect. Sometimes we go to Carmel. Sometimes we go to this little town just south of where we live that's about 45 minutes away and go and get drunk and spend the night in a mediocre hotel and walk around shitty antique stores and eating amazing Mexican food. Whatever that spot might be, make sure you go there, don't leave this part out.

7. Show that you give a fuck about yourself

God, I hate that I have to even include this one. It should be self-evident and makes me angry having to say it.

I think it's a ridiculous standard how women get chastised for "letting themselves go" after getting in a relationship when the guy never really looked like he gave a fuck to begin with. Want her to keep looking good? Then look good and keep looking good. GO THE FUCK OUTSIDE AND TAKE A WALK. Hey, I sit on Reddit, too. I like video games, too. I like vegging on the couch with a glass of wine and settling on a movie after scrolling through Netflix for 30 minutes. However, I don't spend all my time doing these things. I make sure that I get my workout in (Even if it's just walking a few blocks to bring my energy level back up).

Going on a date? She's about to spend 2 hours cleaning up, putting on make-up, picking out an outfit, etc. She's doing this not so everyone else will think she looks great but so she feels good about how she looks and because she wants to look good for you. You respond by putting on a nice pair of shorts and a pair of fucking flip-flops? What a star. I'm sure she's swooning.

I can't tell you how many first and second dates I see come in to the bar (yes, we can tell) where the girl has clearly spent time on how she looks and the guy looks like he just rolled out of his bed at summer camp. Almost every time I see this, they leave separately.

Look and act like you care about yourself. Been dating 6 months? Keep it up. Been dating 10 years? Keep it up. We all have our frumpy days or days that we just want to walk around in our holey underwear but, if those days get to be too many, don't be surprised when she's matching you for who can look the most homeless.

6. Find your anniversaries

My wife and I met on the 4th of July and though we got married in September, we consider that our anniversary. We always celebrate that day (with fireworks and picnics and such) and it's good but I don't really consider that celebration a big piece of who we are.

Shortly after we started dating, we went to a Thievery Corporation concert. It was awesome. Every part of the night was perfect. From dinner, to the concert, to drinks after, to the sex at the end of the night and then waking up in each other's arms. Well, sort of. Waking up in the same bed. You get really hot, you know?

Now, every year, we find a Thievery Corporation concert and go. It brings us back to those first days together and it's wonderful. It's something real and regular and it's an escape. Oh, and I'm not worried about the fact that they'll stop touring someday because we're creating new anniversaries all the time.

5. Don't tell her you love who she is then not let her be who she is.

Did you ask her out because she's a huge flirt and she flirted with you and you loved it and now you're dating? Or maybe she absolutely loves reading books and you fell for her because you were able to have this killer conversation about a book you loved.

The news here is that women aren't the only sex who want to change the people they're dating. If she was a huge flirt then probability is that she'll keep being one. If she was a bookworm then probability is that she'll have her nose buried in a book a lot. Don't get angry at them for being who they are, something you loved when you met them.

Here's the cool part: Accepting and embracing who she is will make her feel safe enough to do the same thing for you. You're no slice of perfect, I assure you. I know you know this but you really have to know this. You have plenty of shit that she will need to look past. Give her the freedom to be herself and you'll see just how amazing she is and fall in love with her over and over.

4. Sometimes, it doesn't work out. Don't be afraid to admit this

I had to throw this in the middle because I didn't want anyone to think that using this stuff will always make things perfect. I don't regret any of my relationships, not a single one. I do, however, regret not ending some of them sooner than I did.

What is it with guys? Do you really think that you just have to sit in a bad relationship forever because there's not another one out there for you? I'm not even talking about abusive relationships or relationships where the girl is a flat-out nightmare. I'm talking about the relationships that are just really crappy. Unsupportive, demeaning, caustic at times.

You know when the relationship is bad. You feel it in your gut. Hell, you probably even say it to yourself. Yet, there you sit, riding it out. Usually, until she dumps you. Man, get out of there and let her find the person that's right for her and you can find the person that's right for you. It only sucks for a bit and then you're done and get to move on.

3. Same team, man! Same team!!

You can't fight each other. You can argue about things, that's normal. You can't fight each other. There, I said it twice. Going toe-to-toe with her like she's out to destroy you will destroy you. You're arguing because you both care about each other and whatever it is you're arguing about. Remember that it can be a tough world out there and you two are on the same side. That means stepping through your anger, out the other side, to see her side of it. It means admitting you're wrong. It means being kind and understanding when she's been wrong. Fuck, this is one of the hardest parts and I'm not perfect at it but I always come back to it. You need to, too. Either of you can go out in to the world and get the shit beat out of them there's no reason to bring that hostility back in to your relationship.

2. Let her have it

I watch couples sit at my bar all the time and the guy will be telling some long, idiotic and drawn out story about whatever and she'll sit there patiently and listen and nod in all the right places and ask questions in all the right places and just let him have his time. It might be an older couple that got all gussied up to go out or a young couple looking gorgeous, this problem has no age limit. The girl will then say something that obviously shows she wants to talk about it or that she needs a compliment and the guy will just take another sip of his beer. It's infuriating.

How much does it really cost you to tell her that she looks gorgeous? Or that she's beautiful? Or just let her tell the story that she wants to tell? Even if the story is boring the answer is, "It costs me nothing." Fuck, she's listened to a thousand of your boring stories. Bonus points: Her story might actually be interesting or funny or compelling. As a matter of fact, it probably is. Why? Because women are usually better at telling stories. It's kind of their thing. So, let her have it. Most of the time you'll be glad for it and it's these stories and the back and forth that create the friendship.

1. Choose her. Everyday.

This one makes all the other points look like "Programming for Dummies." It's the most important thing you can do for your relationship. Every time you see her, you realize that you chose her and you do it again. Choose her over and over. You're going to get bogged down in work and want to spend night after night doing your job, choose her so it will help you remember what's important. You're going to have other women catch your eye and be interesting to you, choose her again so that you can remember what's important. If you ever have kids, they're going to start hogging all of your attention, choose her so that your kids can see what a real relationship is supposed to be like and emulate it themselves. Whatever the options are, choose her, then you won't make any wrong decisions.

There we go. That's "The List." Yes, there are additions, addendums, subtractions, exceptions, and other junk. It's not perfect but it's mine and I can pretty much guarantee that following it will leave you in a better place than not following it.

Read More Here. 

1) Have A Cool Place 

It doesn't have to be YOUR place. If you have contacts working at nice pubs, you can organize happy hours, or meet-ups, and get specials going. You'd be surprised - a lot of places will give you specials just for asking - just ask them whether you could get any specials if you bring a group of 15-20 people in the next week. Or maybe your friend's house, who also likes to throw parties? Or how about the park? It don't matter, holmes, work with what you got.

2) Have a Fun Activity or Theme to Anchor the Event 

Is it a dance party? A cool hat party (more fun than it sounds)? A barbecue? A Twister party? A movie-drinking game party? A video game drinking party? A "log into Omegle/Chatroulette" and mess with strangers party? A make your own pizza party? A karaoke/murder mystery party?

You get to decide, bro - just make sure it's something 80 percent of the people who are there will have fun with. So, obviously, dancing, drinking, and eating will be the most common activities.

You can shake it up by adding things to that, though - not even 3 weeks from now, I'll be having a party at my house where I'll have classic Super Mario Bros, meaning literally anyone can learn the controls and play even if they suck at it, and house rules are that if you die you drink, if you beat a level, everyone else drinks. Add music and dancing, and people will start taking off their clothes. Just like last time.

3) Invite All the People Whose Parties YOU Would go to 

These people are just like you. They're fun, they don't sit on their ass waiting for something cool to happen to them, and they have OTHER friends that will follow them off a cliff if it looks like a good time. The coolest, most fun thing you have have going on in a party is multiple people's social energy and momentum added to yours.

And, if it's not clear, invite lots of women, and get your friends to bring ladies too.

4) Be a Good Host 

This is important. This is what will make you a leader, if not THE leader of your social group. This doesn't mean spending a fuck ton of money, this doesn't mean being a doormat for everyone at your event. Shoot, half the time I tell people to bring their own liquor - a lot of times they show up with something mid or top shelf just for me. That's because they know that I will give them a great time in return, and fun people happy to contribute resources and money to a good time.

But, you invited people for a reason, right? You probably like them, or are at least vaguely interested in what they do for a living. Talk to them. Talk to everyone. It a) let's everyone know that you're the guy who can get them what they need, and b) is just overall great for building your confidence and leadership mindset. You are the one in charge of your party - so BE VISIBLY the one in charge.

5) What Does this Have to do with Seduction? 

Well, it makes you a badass mofo within your social group, and the wealth of data that I and my friends have collected in the field seems to indicate that ladies enjoy having fun guys. If you're not into that, make sure the party rules expressly declare that there shall be no gang-banging. Cause, it can happen.

By Broski

Qualifying Women

"I wonder what she's like."

This is your new mindset. Embrace it. Fall in love with it. It is your new best friend.

Plenty has been said about the importance of having an abundance mentality as opposed to a scarcity mindset. Women want men who have options. Employers are more likely to hire employees who have other job options. The best negotiators make sure they have viable, alternate options.

But how does one develop an abundance mentality towards women when they've never even kissed one? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. Plenty of great men have waxed poetically about this paradox, and most have utterly failed. Until now. The answer lies in these five simple words: "I wonder what she's like."

As you go through the self-improvement process, you will inevitably reflect upon what you want out of a partner. You will start to grasp what you really want out of life. As you evolve, so will your desires, values, and needs. This is a natural part of becoming a man.

With that in mind, going through life seeking out people, places, and things that fit your desires is only natural. No longer are you thinking, "Will this girl like me?" Instead you are thinking, "I wonder what she's like."

To put it another way, in each interaction, you are looking to expose the underlying truth. It seems so simple, but "What do you do for a living?" takes on a whole new meaning when you follow it up with "Why did you get into that field?" and genuinely care how she answers.

Other Helpful Phrases:

Learn to seek out the truth. What makes her tick? What is she really passionate about? Is she worthy of your time? Is she girlfriend material or is she someone you will want to invite out to help you cut the line at nightclubs? Figure that shit out. This is how you develop an abundance mentality when you don't have abundance yet. This is how you attract women.

The guys who inquisitively seek out the truth like this are the guys who cause girls to say "I met this guy last night who just... gets me. It was amazing." Be one of those guys.

Calibration

Calibration ties right in with this. You MUST understand how different people, places and situations affect how you can behave. Sometimes a girl just wants to be dry-humped on a dance floor. Other times she wants to spend an hour talking about family, life, and passions. Other times she wants to discuss current events.

There is only one constant: It is YOUR job, as the man, to lead the interaction in a way that she finds pleasurable and sexy. This is your mission.

I am not going to tell you how calibration works in every situation. That is something you MUST learn for yourself. Without reference experiences, you cannot master calibration. That means PRACTICE (Apologies to Allen Iverson.)

The trick here is getting out of your comfort zone. Push your limits, be high energy, be low energy, say something crazy, mess up a girl's hair out of nowhere, pick her up in the air and spin her around, talk to her about sports, ask her about her family, ask her interview questions about her job and where she went to school. Get a drink thrown in your face. Try everything! Over time you will intuitively grasp how to act in different situations and what you can and can't get away with.

But throughout it all, develop a love for finding out who she is and seeing if she's a fit for you. That's the name of the game. That's what qualification is all about.

Action Items

1) Bust out your notebook. Write down a list of women (real, fictional, famous, friends, crushes, whoever) that you find attractive for some reason. Try to jot down at least 10-20. Leave space between each name.

2) Next to each name, write down specific things you find attractive about them. Let your stream of consciousness flow.

Examples: her hair, sense of humor, loves to party, can drink as much as I can, plays guitar, likes Pink Floyd, plays sports, nice breasts, big ass, adorable, Latina, travels, has hot friends, religious, atheist, bisexual, polyamorous

3) Look at the whole mess of text you just wrote. Just soak it in. Stare it for a few minutes with some music on in the background. Just soak it in while you visualize these various women and what they do for you.

4) Repeat the Action Items 5-8 in Part 3, but this time make an effort to seek the truth out in your interactions as laid out above. Journal these encounters and reflect on them.

5) Go to a high-energy nightclub or bar on a weekend with the sole intention of getting rejected in the most hilarious fashion possible. (This mindset is important. Bring friends if possible.) Think of crazy things to ask and do to women, then do it. Then do it to 10 more girls.

Examples: Rub a girl's head and mess up her hair a little. Ask a group of girls their thoughts on The Human Centipede series.

Push your comfort zone. Laugh at the hilarity of the rejections, you've earned it.

6) The next morning, think back on some of your crazy interactions and I guarantee you will realize girls let you get away with a lot more than you thought. Surprise, surprise, you're becoming a spontaneous, fun guy that women find attractive.

Take the lesson you learned in Kindergarten about sharing and apply it to every aspect of your life.

Why?

1) Because you're not boring.

Ex: I started out by telling dates my research for the past two years demand future experiments. I soon learned, I became much more attractive by sharing my excitement for a new set of experiments I was planning and the implications it would have.

Another ex: Your passion might be music.
Don't just say, "I like to listen to music". Convey a story and your excitement for discovering up and coming artists by going to local music venues, the local record shop.

2) Because you can get over approach anxiety. 

Believing you have something to share to the world changes your mindset about how valuable you are as a person. For example - it's a snowy day at the bus stop, but it's relatively warm compared to a non-snowy day. As a chemistry major, you think nothing of it, but you can SHARE your knowledge about how the chemical structure of snow allows it to act as an insulator. Instant conversation starter.

Note: I use OkCupid because my time is limited, and I'd like my dates to share my political, social ideology rather than discover we have nothing in common.

3) Because sharing prevents you from caring. 

At the beginning, I agonized over when girls would call or text back because I wanted to know how THEY were doing, if THEY were interested in a movie, if THEY want to do something. Now, I contact them because something funny/awesome/sad happened or will happen, and I want to SHARE the experience with them. This allows you to frame messages in an assertive manner. Let's go do ... instead of hey, if you're free, would you maybe want to go...?

Along the same lines, sharing prevents you from taking and exuding desperation. If you're giving of yourself, you don't feel compelled to ask girls for their valuable time. If you're sharing the great experiences things you do, they will feel compelled to accept your offer.

4) Because sharing demands self-improvement and reflection.

If you examine your life and don't think it's worth sharing, then this should motivate you to better your lifestyle. Get a body that makes you want to run on the beach without a shirt on so you can share to the world what it means to be fit. A concrete example for me has been getting myself to do 40 pushups at once from merely 10 this January. If your hygiene isn't so good, maybe it's time to consider what you need to do to share a kiss with someone (flossing, perhaps??).

5) Because sharing demonstrates your character. 

Oh, you share your time at the local boys and girls club? Oh, you tipped that waiter well because you understand how crappy a job it is and are able to share what you can afford? >> For a girl to see you share your time to help others makes her less concerned with you taking in general (but more specifically her). By sharing, she is more capable of trusting you and less concerned with whether you will merely use her. Because when you give, you get so much more back in return.

How I came to realize this: I gradually started to do all of this on my own, but I had no paradigm with which to explain what was going on, until I read this article profiling the organizational psychologist Adam Grant. Exceptional read.

Share yourself! What do you have to lose?

How should I touch her?

Make it easy: Early and often is the rule!

Make physical contact very early in your interaction with a girl. The easiest way to do this is to touch her on the shoulder or arm to get her attention.

The reason you need to make contact early on is because those first few moments set up the frame for the rest of your interaction. This is where you’re establishing the rules for how you and the girl will interact. If there’s no contact at all, even if the conversation is going great, when you go to initiate kino 30 minutes in, it’s going to be awkward, all the attention will be on it, and it’s like you’ve just smashed through a plate glass window.

On the other hand, if you initiate kino from the start, now your interaction is one where light physical contact is the norm and completely acceptable. Your next contact will not be nearly so awkward, if it’s even awkward at all. Don’t wait too long to kino a second time though, because the parameters of your interaction can change. Go too long with no contact and that wall starts to get built up between you. Early and often.

How the heck do you do this?

Many guys complain that they just don’t know how to kino, and that it’s always awkward, even if they do it right from the start. The only cure for this is experience. The first time you ever kiss a girl it’s going to be weird and you’re not going to do it very well. There is no amount of reading you can do that will prepare you though, you just have to learn what it’s supposed to feel like and become comfortable through experience.

If you need a crutch to facilitate kino, there are a lot of routines where physical contact is integral. Palm reading is a good choice, if you’re in to giving girls chick crack and can take yourself seriously while doing it. Another option is learning a few magic tricks, as there are a lot that involve placing something in a girl’s hand, or moving her hands around for any number of reasons — “Hold your hands outs. …No, like this,” and you move them into the correct position.

And of course, high fives. Always an easy go-to move. The trick is (for some reason I don’t understand) to look at the person’s elbow. You’ll never miss.

Don’t be needy

Not being needy is just a great rule for life, but it is especially relevant to kino. It’s easy to get way too excited about finally being able to touch a girl, and you just want to escalate, escalate, escalate. You haven’t touched a girl in forever, so you’re trying to get in as much contact as you can. You’re like a camel filling up on water at an oasis, and the girl will definitely pick up on this. Once she realizes that this is a novel experience for you, you’ll have exposed your low value, and she’ll be turned off.

Treat kino as an opportunity for push/pull. When you kiss her, be the one to break it off. End it while she’s still wanting more, talk for a while, and then kiss her again a few minutes later. This sends two messages; first that you’re not desperate for a little action, and second that you’re actually interested in her as a person. Every girl knows that you want to kiss her, what she’s hoping is that you’ll also want to talk to her after. So talk to her after.

Proximity Matters

Think about standing close to each other as a form of kino. You will occasionally have some light bumps in to each other, and you can pick up a lot of cues based on how she responds to that. Does she move away so that you don’t accidentally touch again? Or does she stay right where she is? You’ll also build a lot of sexual tension just by standing very close. Even without contact, she’s aware of your body’s presence, can feel the heat coming off you, and it’s almost like a static charge begins to build up.

Logistics

As you gain experience, logistics become the most important aspect of all. Boys worry about game. Men worry about logistics. Without a logistical understanding of how you will progress from approach to the bedroom, you are flying blind. Understanding logistics is often the difference between landing the woman of your dreams and going home alone. Let's dig in.

Logistics refers to all the external factors that you can control. How do you ask for the number, what kinds of texts do you send, where do you take her for your first date, how you get her from point A to point B, what do you have in your room. It means having a plan and trusting in it. It also means reflecting on your experience and developing a style that you can comfortably enjoy.

You are not allowed to talk to girls until you go through the next two steps. Trust me on this.

#1: Where can you get her alone? What do you have there?

Whether you are looking for a one night stand or your next girlfriend, eventually you are going to have to get alone to make out and have sex. Everyone's situation is unique, but the bottom line is you must figure out WHERE you can do this in advance of the date. Obviously if you have your own place in the heart of a big city, you're in good shape, but even if you live with your parents, fear not... Where there's a horny guy, there's a way.

Get creative and really think about all the different locations you can get alone after hours. Is there an isolated beach nearby? Great, go put a couple beach towels in the trunk of you car. Do the seats of your car lay down? Great. Have keys to your office after-hours? Fan-fucking-tastic! And of course you can always try to go to her place (but then you give up a tremendous amount of logistical control, so tread carefully.)

NOTE: I'm using these as examples of creativity if you don't have a good place to take a girl. However, if you want to get good at this and start really seducing women, you're going to need to get your logistics in order. If you're not working to get into a more logistically-friendly situation, you're making your life much harder than it has to be.

As for the types of things you need in your place. Honestly, as long as you have a couch or bed, condoms, and music, TV, or a computer, you're in good shape. Everything you add beyond that can be helpful, but no need to go crazy. Adding a bottle of wine and some spirits will be the icing on the cake.

Don't overthink this stuff. Yes, massage oil, hookahs, drugs, sex swings, lube, that mural you painted in art school, and your photo collection from your trip to Peru are awesome, but they're not really helping you get laid. Keep your place clean and live in a place you are PROUD to be in. That's what is most important at the end of the day. By the time the girl comes home with you, she is more or less committed to hooking up. I've lived in a 150 square-foot studio and a $4000/month luxury apartment, and neither one helped me pull better than the other.

#2: Know your city and know your neighborhood

You need to become an expert in your city, its various attractions, bars, restaurants, date spots, etc. Remember back in Part 2 when you came up with a list of great date ideas? Yeah, go revisit that list and try harder. Discover all that's great around you. Talk up strangers and ask them for cool things to do. Be a tourist in your own city for a weekend. Love where you live.

A guy who can serve as the gatekeeper to all the wondrous sights and experiences in your city is incredibly attractive. Don't take that lightly. Most people go through life going to the same shitty restaurants and bars every week. But you aren't "most people." You are unique and better than them. Women will gravitate to you.

Now that you are starting to really know your city, you need to REALLY know your neighborhood. The more cool little spots you know within immediate distance of your home, the more logistical options you have to move women back towards your apartment.

Visit every single bar and cafe in your neighborhood. Visit every park and shopping center and see what they have to offer. Go on a walking tour next weekend. Know your neighborhood like the back of your hand.

I'll demonstrate why further down below, but more often than not, the best date location will be a random shitty dive bar down the block from your place. A lot of guys take girls to fancy dinners across town, but I would bet every dollar I have that they would have more success taking them to the closest shitty bar.

OK, are you comfortable with your logistics so far? Good, now you're ready to talk to girls again.

#3: Getting her number

By this point in the guide, you should have some experience opening and conversing with women. If not, go back to the beginning and follow the Action Items. You're doing it wrong.

I'm going to make this section really easy for you. Getting her number is as simple as saying, "We should hang out sometime. Let's exchange numbers."

No gimmicks, no routines, no pickup lines. If you've gone in with good body language, touch, and conversation, you won't need anything fancy.

That being said, it ALWAYS makes sense to attempt to do two things:

Real-world Examples:

As you develop your personality and spontaneity, come up with your own teases, jokes, and nicknames. It's fun and gives every interaction its own unique essence. Oh, and put a little note referencing this next to her name in your address book.

One final tip... When you get her number, I find it powerful to throw in a "Now you're not one of those girls who flakes all the time, right?" in a somewhat accusatory tone. It implies a set boundary that you won't tolerate girls who flake on you. Firm values and boundaries are hot.

#4 Texting the girl & setting up dates

After getting the number, it's usually a good idea to send a "Did you get home safe?" text later that night. It solidifies the connection and your concern for her will make her more comfortable. If you met her during the day, or through a social function, calibrate your text accordingly.

As far as general texting goes... There are plenty of guys who text humorous notes, sexy one-liners, and get girls to open up, building attraction through dozens of text exchanges. This can be very effective, so if it works for you, that's awesome.

My stance, however, is that great men don't waste time texting inane messages all day long. The best text game is building extreme attraction before you ever get her number. That way, you can stick to texting only for scheduling real-life meetups where you can escalate physically. Do you really feel that 140 characters on a small LCD screen properly represents who you are? I certainly don't.

Here are my favorite texts to use. Feel free to use them often. They work.

As always, plan to calibrate to her responses and be flexible within reason. Do your job during the initial interaction and text game becomes the simplest thing in the world. No more "rules."

Dates

Plan your dates in advance with a mental map for how you're going to get her from point A to point B. Yes, that art gallery all the way across town sounds awesome (and by all means, if YOU want to go, GO!) but it's not going to be ideal for getting her to the final destination (on top of your penis.)

I always start out by suggesting a shitty bar near my place. Why near my place? Because it will make moving her there 10 times easier than if we have to drive across town. Why a shitty bar? Because then I can use my favorite line in all of seduction, "This bar kinda sucks. I have some wine at my place, let's go drink there."

Some tips for what to during the date:

You must have a plausible reason for why you're bringing her back to your place. Yes, you both kinda-sorta know it's for sex, but that's not how it works in the real world. Even if it's just to drink that wine, or check out that new Youtube video, or show her your stamp collection, you need to plan this ahead of time. Experience certainly pays dividends here, but the truth is, as long you have done a good job generating attraction thus far, you'll be fine.

Expect her to offer some resistance when you try to bring her home. Throwing out a "I don't sleep with someone on the first date." or "No sex, okay?" will do wonders. It all helps to generate plausible deniability. If it just happened while we were in the moment she will feel much more comfortable knowing she fooled around with you. No girl wants to feel like a slut. It's your job, as the man, to make her as comfortable as possible. Also when you start to fool around, "I don't kiss and tell." goes a long, long way.

Action Items

1) Follow parts 1 & 2 above to the letter. Do not pass go. Do not collect $200 until you do this. This is one of the most important things you'll ever do for your love life.

2) Get out your notebook. Write out 30, 60, and 90 day plans for how you are going to improve your logistical situation. Repeat until you are happy with your situation (aka no longer living with your mom.)

2) Go out with the goal of getting phone numbers. Follow the advice above and try for 10 numbers. Then 20. Then 30. You need to gain experience with a variety of women. There is no way to gain this other than brute force.

3) Text the numbers you receive and try to set up first dates. Try to schedule 5-10.

4) During these dates, try to work on changing locations. First to another neutral venue, then to your home. (THIS IS IMPORTANT: Your goal is merely to get her to come home with you, don't even worry about sex. This subtle change in mindset has proven very effective for me. Sex is a natural by-product of the process.)