• 1. Is there a lot of laughter in the relationship?
    You should be able to enjoy each other’s company and crack jokes once in a while. One thing I have a soft spot for is the fact that I am drawn to men with a sense of humor. You should ascertain if both of you are seeing things with a sense of humor or sense of lightness. In many aspects of life both of you should have fun making decisions together.

     2. You are each other best friend.
    Both of you can be together without any conditions attached other than enjoying the company and presence of  the other.

     3. You are comfortable and free in each other’s presence.
    You can have romantic feelings for each other, but the majority of times you have a sense of satisfaction, comfort and freedom when in his/her presence.

     4. He/She is the one among your trusted circle who give you the most support and recognition. Among the group of close and trusted friends, he/she should be the one who give you support, validation and recognition when you need it the most.

     5. You know each other strengths and weaknesses.
    Despite the weaknesses you have he/she still accept you who you are and vice versa.

     6. Both of you believe that marriage is a life time commitment.
    And both of you are willing to commit to this life long partnership and dedicated to make it work in the long term.

     7. Both can resolve any miscommunication or conflict right away with tact and diplomacy. 
    Instead of waiting to resolve the issue later you both can work on a solution on a problem right in front of each other.

     8. Both of you have values and ideals in common.
    You don’t have to have all of them in common but know that at least both of you have some commonality in terms of goal pursuits or values. Also both of you should be clear what each other’s values and ideals are.

     9. Both of you communicate easily and friendly.
    You are both frank with each other and you can open up and share problems and issues without worries of  being judged or criticized by him/her.

     10. Both of you have a mature and rational level of communication.
    Both of you agree that on many different levels you both match very well.

    If you say Yes to all the 10 questions/criteria, there is high probability you might have met the right person. But as always let your heart have the final say in the matter. In the end, you are the one who is making the decision and you need to be aware of the consequences of that decision. And only you know best what is right for you.



  • WOMEN WANT MEN OTHER WOMEN WANT
    again just to be clear
    WOMEN WANT MEN OTHER WOMEN WANT
    This is why being shy ( or even worse that clingy "nice guy" who acts like a retarded passive/agressive puppy) will never get you laid. By acting in these manners you are announcing to the world that no woman wants you.
    On the other hand when you are confident, when you act as if you could care less whether this particular girl hooks up with you or not, you are announcing that plenty of high quality women find you attractive. You must always communicate ( through your actions not words) that there are Plenty of high quality women waiting in the wings. That way a woman will feel you are choosing her out of the competition " He could be with any girl and he chose me" that is the feeling women want. No woman will be attracted to you if she feels she is the only option you have.
    Tl;DR: woman want to feel that they beat out stiff competition in order to be chosen as the target of your affections. You must always communicate to women, through your actions and attitude, that this stiff competition exists even if it doesn't. WOMEN WANT MEN OTHER WOMEN WANT

    EDIT: this is getting a lot of eyeballs so I wanted to edit in order to maximize my usefulness. let' s talk about two things you should ALWAYS avoid doing with any woman you are sexually interested in.
    1. "Putting the Pussy On a Pedestal" sometimes referred to as "oneitis" this is when you tell a girl before you are in a serious relationship with her ( sometimes before your first sexual encounter with her) or otherwise commmunicate to her through your actions that you worship her/fawn over her/are obsessed with her.
    "But Mothman83" you say " i want to be romantic! chicks love all those guys in films who do all these kinds of romantic overtures" Right you are ! women do love romantic overtures from " those guys in a film". know what the difference between them and you is? any guy who is the lead characther in a multimillion dollar film is by definitionextremely high value! they are most definitely the kind of man other woman want! so much so that they can carry a major motion picture and assure a return on a multimillion dollar investment! What I mean by this is simple.. next time you hear a woman waxing poetic about a film charachter played by Ryan Gosling( or any other film hearthtrob) who was shy and sensitive and secretly in love with his best friend and wooed her through romantic gestures and mushy love letters and what not... please realize that women do want this kind of behavior and attention... from a man who they know is as desired by other women as Ryan Goseling is!!!! So again...If you happen to already be the undisputed alpha male of the social circle the girl belongs too ( for example you are both in your senior year of high school and you just got elected Homecoming king while being president of Student Government and quarterback of the football team) then by all means drop an over the top romantic gesture on the girl of your choice and watch her melt in front of you. after all you would then be the real life equivalent of " that guy in that film". However, If you are reading this i feel confident in assuming this isn't your situation. Pay attention to what i am about to say very closely:
    Woman want romantic overtures from guys they already have determined are high status " men other women want" ...but you can never portray this high status by doing fawning overtures out of the blue! In order for your romantic overture to have the desired effect you must first demonstrate to them you are the kind of man other woman want. Starting with fawning is counterproductive on this front. Why? simple..... if you are willing to invest this much energy and resources into wooing one girl out of the blue..what are the chances that you have plenty of willing mates waiting in the wings? what are the chances that you are " the kind of man other women want"? ..The girl you are wooing is trying to determine for reasons i explain in detail in this post whether or not you are " the kind of man other women want". Assuming you are not a terribly public figure, she is going to be using your behavior to determine this. IF you act in a fawning manner then you are basically saying" i have determined you are the only girl i have chance of scoring with, therefore i will now put all my time and resources into attempting to sleep with you".Your actions are telling her you are very low value and not the kind of man other woman want. Therefore your overture is now viewed as "creepy" as opposed to romantic and you have now likely sabotaged your chances of sleeping with this girl.
    do you know what is EVEN WORSE than putting the pussy on a pedestal?:
    Bitching about how evil women are
    Dear god PLEASE FOR ALL THAT IS HOLY STOP WHINING ABOUT YOUR EX, GETTING "FRIENDZONED" ( don't even use this term near any woman! in fact i strongly recommend you remove this term from your vocabulary altogether!)OR HOW WOMEN MISTREAT YOU or HOW WOMEN ONLY WANT TO DATE JERKS AND NOT NICE GUYS LIKE YOU ( newsflash:if you have ever said this in public you are not a nice guy) within earshot of any woman you are interested in.
    Please control yourself and SHUT UP .....apart from instantly making you a whiny asshole you are literally spraying yourself with "pussy repellent" when you do this.
    Hey remember how i keep telling you that WOMEN WANT MEN OTHER WOMEN WANT and how women, when they meet you, are trying to asses whether or not in fact you are the type of man that other women want?
    What exactly do you think happens when you TELL THEM that iyou have problems with women? that it is a problem for you to get laid? that you resent women because they wont sleep with you?
    that is right you are telling them that you are NOT the kind of man other women want. You are basically nuking your chances of ever sleeping with any woman who hears your whining. And yes i have seen many men do this. You wouldn't believe how many men whine to women about this either out of a total lack of self control, a total lack of self awareness, or chasing an imaginary creature called a "pity fuck".

  • We’re all familiar with the difference between learning about seduction and doing it. You have everything you need to become great at seduction within yourself…but you are also, paradoxically, your own worst enemy. Reading Seddit and watching pickup videos all day will not get you where you want to go; in fact, a whole other skill set is required to actually translate all that knowledge/ambition into action/results. This post is my attempt to explain these core, "meta" skills in a way that is IMMEDIATELY USEFUL IN REAL LIFE.
    Just a few opening notes--skip if you want to go straight to the info
    • My singular focus here on purely practical techniques/mindsets is not meant to imply that they somehow replace learning about the theory of seduction. Learning from experts, and from communities like Seddit, is an indispensable part of the growing process. Absorb all the information you possibly can; just make sure you apply everything you take in.
    • I either have done or currently do everything below. It all actually works (for me).
    • If you find the ideas below obvious, way underneath your skill level, complicated, weird, or morally reprehensible then that is totally fine! There’s more than one way to skin a cat. What makes perfect sense to me may just not be the way you see the world. Communicating about those differences would be great, actually!
    • I come from an end-justifies-the-means, workaholic, high-intensity, impatient mindset; it's just the way I am most of the time. My personality bias probably has both strengths and weaknesses, so keep both in mind as you read.
    • If you are psychiatrically sick, then get that shit treated! Doing this with a healthy mind is hard enough!...if your mind is fucked, so are you.
    ORGANIZE
    • Make a to-do list. Online is the best way (quicker, don’t lose it, less paper…). Whenever you think of something you should do in the future, take a few seconds and put it on your to-do list--immediately if possible. When you make a task, assign it a SPECIFIC due date. I like the web-app "Toodledo"; though the name is silly, the application is free and simple while still allowing a lot of awesome complexity in managing your goals and tasks if you want it. Anyhow, use whatever you’re most comfortable with. Update your list daily at least (those of you with smartphones have no excuse).
    • Use a calendar. This is self-explanatory. When you really get busy (especially juggling a bunch of relationships) the calendar will be essential. Fuck, I think it’s essential regardless.
    • Set weekly goals. They should be specific and difficult; you must be highly committed to completing them or at least doing your honest best. Don’t set more than one weekly goal at a time for any one domain of your life; this important! If you can achieve more than one goal, then your goals are not difficult enough.Just as an example, I make one goal for each of three categories every week (intellectual, social, personal for me—use whatever categories sound good to you)…and I accomplish them about 80% of the time—that’s my sweet spot.
    • Keep a log. Keep track of your results daily, using numbers! Quantitative logging is the closest thing to objective feedback on your game that you can give yourself, and it is immensely valuable. I have a fucking Excel file where I record how many times I approached, #/k/f closed, and also a bunch of other things (# of drinks, hours wasted, time spent reading, time spent on Reddit… you get the idea). No explanations, noqualitative analysis, definitely no names; takes about 20 seconds to update every day. For me it was boring at first, but now I can actually look at graphs of how my vices were reduced and my skills were improved over the last month or so. When progress is so tangible, your motivation to do even better is really amplified.
    • Do a SWOT analysis of your game. SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. It will help you pinpoint what you need to practice (EG, calibration, approaching, getting the number, going for the kiss….); it will help you avoid making stupid mistakes; it will give you confidence, or at least you will be firmly grounded in your self. This holistic perspective will make your growth significantly moreconsistent.
    EXECUTE, EXECUTE, EXECUTE.
    • Start with the type of game that you are best at. Beginners: if you are awesome at house parties then don’t feel pressure to go to the club. Do what gets you the best results until you’re at a point where your skills finally generalize across all social contexts. Self-confidence is critical to advancing past the early stages of learning pickup, and it can only come from some sort of positive reference experiences.
    • When in doubt, GO OUT. Don’t get caught up organizing and micromanaging everything. Going out always comes first. If you have time before or after going out, THEN you plan. Pro tip: make time
    • Iterate failed goals. When you fail to achieve one of your goals by its due date, first ask yourself: “was this goal actually important to me? Is it now?” If not, then you learn what you can and move on. However, if the goal was important and you still failed, it was too difficult in some way. Take the goal and split it up into simpler component goals and then try those. Example: I failed to approach 10 sets this week because of approach anxiety—so this week I will approach 10 “rigged” sets, like store employees/acquaintances to get into the habit…
    • Pussy out like a man. Never pussy out of going out. No matter how scared or lazy you feel, you are going to go out SOMEWHERE… fucking walk around all by yourself and don’t talk to a single girl, if you have to! Go back home after 15 minutes! Doing that is completely superior to reading a bunch of Seddit articles during your going-out time.
    • Results ain’t shit (over the short term). So don’t read too much into what happened last night, whether you got blown out by a ton of HB3s or fucked an HB10. Don’t feel like you can stay in and jack off on a Saturday night just because Friday was awesome; or because it was terrible!
    • Failure ain’t shit, so fail often. If you’re succeeding every single time you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough.
    • Have a game plan when you go out. Good logistics are absolutely necessary--changing just this one parameter can have an instant impact on your game. In general, having a plan for what you want to accomplish/experience when you go out will get you more and better experiences for your time. Leave room for spontaneity of course!
    • You have to. Past a certain point of growth in seduction, you realize that it's pretty much too late to turn back; you have taken the red pill, and your glimpse of the possibilities could not be easily forgotten. If you don't get out there and make the changes you want in your life, everything will not be okay. You will live and die in seductive mediocrity. On your deathbed, you will wonder “what if…?”
    • Play social games. These allow you to improve your social skills and confidence pretty much anywhere you go.
    • Utilize your friends. For example: Every Monday two of my friends and I share our weekly goals via email, and discuss our results from the previous week. It helps make us more accountable and we also get good advice.
    • Meditate. Just practice mindfulness during the day; you don't have to close your eyes and sit up straight or any of that. Just be aware of every sensation, pay attention to what's going on in your mind. If you can get to the point where boredom and down-time are replaced by calm, meditative awareness, then you are the b0$$.
    • Alcohol. IF you are a beginner, don’t feel bad about drinking a bit to help you get into state. I think the downside to this is often overemphasized. DON'T get piss-drunk, but use alcohol as a tool to help you build a basic foundation of reference experiences. This is controversial—just use your best judgment.
    • Exercise/lift/eat healthy. Why the FUCK wouldn't you?? SO SIMPLE, SO MUCH BENEFIT!!
    • You are the fucking man. Positive self-talk is not the same as mental masturbation. Constantly talk yourself up. Look in the mirror, point and smile and say “you are COOL AS FUCK!” Yeah it’s silly but that shit works.
    Don't try to implement all of this at once. Phase it in gradually. No pressure to get it all right the first time. Especially with things like the weekly goals, missed weeks are common at first...but don't let that be an excuse! Just don't stop improving your ability until you've reached your potential in each one.
    I hope this was useful



  • HOW TO MAKE DECISIONS: HUNT THE FEAR

    The choices most people make are opiates.  They let you turn you off.  They let life  just happen around you.  You give in to them, fall asleep, and wake up years later.  You’ll be totally unfulfilled, but too drugged up to care.  They’re comfortable and easy.
    TV is comfortable.  Video games are comfortable.  Staying in your unfulfilling job is comfortable.  Holding your drink at your chest in a bar and telling yourself that no one there is worth talking to is comfortable.  Passing a beautiful girl on the street and NOT stopping her to tell her how gorgeous she looks is comfortable.
    Shitty decisions that will turn you into a shitty person are almost ALWAYS comfortable.

    THE DECISIONS WE OUGHT TO MAKE . . .

    they’re shots of adrenaline.   They demand and provide hyper awareness.  You have to be wide awake to stop the beautiful girl who passed you on the street after you ran across 4 lanes of traffic to speak with her.  You can’t sleep walk with your heart racing.
    Most of us feel heart racing fear and shrink away.  We feel excited or nervous, and we second guess ourselves.
    We have it backwards.  Fear, excitement, feeling your chest lock up and your throat clench and suddenly being extremely aware of how dumb your hands look wherever you put them: these are signs you are doing the RIGHT thing.  Lean into these emotions.  Hunt them.  Follow your fear.  
    Want to know how to make decisions?  The best way to grow is by venturing outside what’s comfortable.  You have to realize that if you are socio-economically privileged enough to be reading this blog, fear isn’t something to run from.  Fear doesn’t mean you are about to get eaten by a lion or beaten to death.  It means you are about to enter into a social situation that is new to you, to stretch yourself in an amazing way.
    So what scares the piss out of you?  THAT is exactly what you need to be doing.  No more easy shit.  If it’s easy, it’s a waste of your time.  If it scares the shit out of you, now you’re getting somewhere.

    THE FACE OF COMFORT

    People eat junk food, stay in shitty jobs, and drink beer before talking to girls all because comfort is their master.  Comfort says “Let’s do what’s easy.”  Let’s get smashed instead of speaking to a girl.  Let’s stay at this job that covers the bills, provides a bit of savings plus two weeks vacation,  and leaves me with a gaping hole in my heart.
    Comfort is like water.  It’s flowing downhill and it doesn’t care how it gets there.  Comfort is a bullshit artist.
    A stunner walks past you in the street, and you know you should stop her, talk to her.  Comfort will tell you:
    She probably has a boyfriend.  Plus it wouldn’t be appropriate to stop her in public, it just might bother her.  And you’re running a bit late besides.   And blah, blah, bullshit rationalization, blah  . . .
    When you push past the that crap and resolve to suck it the fuck up, something else perks up.  Fear.  It spikes your adrenaline and seizes your chest with primal terror.  It makes your guts squirm.  It secretes glue out of your feet and turn your legs to lead.
    When you finally pass it up and let that girl walk out of your life, comfort is quick to console you.
    You didn’t need that.  Plus she wasn’t THAT pretty anyway.
    It knows that acknowledging your cowardice just might make you uncomfortable enough to change.

    THE FACE OF FEAR

    Fear emerges at the edge of comfort, when comfort starts to slip.  Fear shows up when you are about to do something great.  The shortness of breath you feel, the locked chest and lead legs, those are fear.
    People misinterpret fear.  They think it’s telling them to back down, to give in and slip back into comfort.  They avoid fear and treat it like a dog treats an electric fence.  It marks the boundaries of their life.
    They could not have it more backwards if they tried.  Fear is the signal of a near-life experience.  Fear is the alarm clock telling you that you need to wake the fuck up.  Because it’s go time.  You’re about to do something awesome and you need to be there for it.

    WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

    The next time you are in a bar, see a pretty girl you know you should talk to, and feel your chest lock up in fear try this:
    • Acknowledge it.  Say out loud: “I’m feeling afraid of saying a few words to a 100lb girl”
    • Open your body language.  Show your palms, expose your throat, take up  more space.
    • Take a deep breath.
    • Thank the fear for showing you what you need to do.  For revealing how you can grow.
    • Get up and go say “I haven’t met you yet.  I’m [X]“
    Courage is a muscle which becomes a habit which becomes a character trait which becomes the defining aspect of a person’s life.  Start exercising your courage and you are on your path to becoming the man.  And remember: you can only display courage when you feel fear.
    So thank God for fear.  I know of no better decision making tool.  If something scares you, yet has very little odds of causing physical harm, you have to do it.  Simple as that.  If you can’t, you must.

    via @ http://www.kickassacademy.com/how-to-make-decisions/



  • 1. You should talk about “emotional” topics like childhood memories, future ambitions, or her passions. These conversation topics will open up her emotional floodgates.

    2. Women want a guy who is not afraid to lead her. While talking to a woman take control of the conversation. Never wait for her to dictate what you’ll be talking about.

    3. Pay attention to the non verbal cues a woman is giving you. If you’re standing too close to her, accidentally spitting when you talk, or making her feel uncomfortable in any way… she will send you hints. Pay attention to them.

    4. Remember this motto “Fun not Funny.” Women are attracted to men who allow them to have fun. Don’t concentrate on having the funniest jokes. Concentrate on showing them the most excitement and enjoyment.

    5. Tease women. One of the easiest ways to take a conversation to a fun and flirty level is to begin to tease women. Think back to your time on the playground. In the world of dating… what worked on the playground is effective all over again.

    6. Get intimate with her. Women are turned on by men who are not afraid to take a conversation to a personal, intimate level.

    7. Use things like “cold reads” to turn women on. Women love to hear opinions about themselves. Tell her what you observe about her.

    8. Avoid complimenting a woman too much. Women are turned off by men who come across as “needy.” If you are complimenting a woman too much she will think you’re trying to impress her. Which will have the opposite effect.

    9. If you want to know how to talk to women in a way that doesn’t bore them… Avoid asking too many “interview” style questions.  Instead state your opinion about things.

    10. Remember: Statements over questions. Instead of saying “where did you grow up?” Say “You don’t look like you grew up around here.” This allows you to make observations about her and express your personality.

    11. Don’t hide your identity. Don’t be afraid to talk about whatever you’re passionate about.

    12. Never compliment her on her eyes, looks, or body.

    13. Say something that lets her know that you view her in a “sexual” way. If you don’t, you run the risk of winding up in the “friend zone”.

    14. Use conversation “games” to keep the mood fun and flirtatious. Games can be anything like “truth or dare” or to less extreme games like the “5 questions game”.

    15. Don’t give away your hand so fast. Women like men who are a challenge. If you want to keep a woman’s interest she has to feel like she is slowly winning you over. If she thinks you’re too easy… she’ll lose interest.

    The best way to think about how to talk to women is to think about what kind of fun, playful, and sexual conversation you would most enjoy. Talking to a woman doesn’t have to be difficult. You just need to be aware of what they are turned on by and what turns them off. Follow the list above and you’ll do just fine.




  • Here is where the story begins for the typical Nice Guy. 

     Around 14 years old, he spends weeks or months developing a crush on a girl in his class. When he finally builds up the nerve to anxiously and awkwardly approach her (and tell her she is pretty), she shows low interest (for whatever reason). He assumes her lack of interest is the result of her ability to see what a loser he is.

     Or perhaps he spends months and years becoming a girl’s friend, listening to her talk about her problems, hoping that some day she will see what a great guy he is. She is happy to use him as an emotional tampon, but of course she never falls in love with him. Again, he assumes it is because there must be something fundamentally wrong with him -- and she can see it.

     From adolescence on, he assumes that all women have the power to instantly see whatever disqualifying flaws he possesses. Over time, if he occasionally gets up the nerve to approach women and gets additional low interest responses, it validates his belief that all women have the ability to instantly recognize his inherent undesirability.

     Men with this kind of dating experience have a hard time seeing that a woman’s low interest response can be the result of a number of factors:

     --She isn’t available
    --He isn’t her type (we all have types)
    --She is distracted or preoccupied
    --He approached her clumsily, anxiously, or passively
    --He did nothing to create positive emotional tension for her
    --He was waiting for her to be the decider and take action

     These men use a few low interest responses and a few awkward advances (or months or years of being “nice” to a woman) as proof and support of their deeply held self-limiting beliefs. These SLBs might include:

     --I am inherently flawed and undesirable
    --All women can instantly see I am undesirable
    --All women want a guy who is different from me
    --This will never change

     Regardless of how you feel about yourself, women do not have superhuman powers to read your mind or know the depth of who you are.

     Further, you may be hyper aware of perceived personal flaws, but you are not a loser. Any internal beliefs of personal worthlessness you hold on to are nothing more than a lifetime of inaccurate interpretation of life events. 

     Since you aren’t a loser (even if you believe you are), a woman can’t look inside you and see something that isn’t there. Just because some women whom you desired didn’t desire you back, it didn’t mean they looked inside you and saw you as lacking in some fundamental way.

     You Cannot Not Communicate

     While women cannot see into your soul, the female brain is more powerfully wired for EMPATHY than the male brain. Empathy is the ability to sense what another person is experiencing and to understand and share their feelings.

     Due to evolution, the female brain is better wired to naturally experience empathy by sensing and interpreting the “meta communication” that we all project.

     This meta communication is projected through facial expressions, body language, eye movement, voice tone and pace, and even energy. Communication experts say that only about 7% of communication consists of actual words, the rest is non-verbal cues. So even if you aren’t speaking, your body, face, eyes, posture, and gestures all speak volumes.

     Without going too deeply into the evolutionary processes that helped the female brain develop greater empathy -- the ability to read the unspoken cues people project -- suffice it to say, women are more sensitive to your body language than they are to your words. 

     But even with a greater capacity for empathy, women cannot read your mind and do not posses the ability to look into your heart or soul (or intuitively know you have a hidden porn addiction, live with your mother, or have never had sex).

     So while there may be a multitude of reasons why a woman might have low interest in interacting with you (the majority of which have nothing to do with you), there might be some things you are doing at the meta level that might trigger a low interest response in a woman (none of which includes you being a “loser”).

     There are two common issues that Nice Guys and inexperienced daters project which women experience at a meta level. Both of these dynamics typically lead to low interest responses in women. These two issues are incongruence and anxiety.
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