HUNT THE FEAR!

HOW TO MAKE DECISIONS: HUNT THE FEAR

The choices most people make are opiates.  They let you turn you off.  They let life  just happen around you.  You give in to them, fall asleep, and wake up years later.  You’ll be totally unfulfilled, but too drugged up to care.  They’re comfortable and easy.

TV is comfortable.  Video games are comfortable.  Staying in your unfulfilling job is comfortable.  Holding your drink at your chest in a bar and telling yourself that no one there is worth talking to is comfortable.  Passing a beautiful girl on the street and NOT stopping her to tell her how gorgeous she looks is comfortable.

Shitty decisions that will turn you into a shitty person are almost ALWAYS comfortable.

THE DECISIONS WE OUGHT TO MAKE . . .

they’re shots of adrenaline.   They demand and provide hyper awareness.  You have to be wide awake to stop the beautiful girl who passed you on the street after you ran across 4 lanes of traffic to speak with her.  You can’t sleep walk with your heart racing.

Most of us feel heart racing fear and shrink away.  We feel excited or nervous, and we second guess ourselves.

We have it backwards.  Fear, excitement, feeling your chest lock up and your throat clench and suddenly being extremely aware of how dumb your hands look wherever you put them: these are signs you are doing the RIGHT thing.  Lean into these emotions.  Hunt them.  Follow your fear.  

Want to know how to make decisions?  The best way to grow is by venturing outside what’s comfortable.  You have to realize that if you are socio-economically privileged enough to be reading this blog, fear isn’t something to run from.  Fear doesn’t mean you are about to get eaten by a lion or beaten to death.  It means you are about to enter into a social situation that is new to you, to stretch yourself in an amazing way.

So what scares the piss out of you?  THAT is exactly what you need to be doing.  No more easy shit.  If it’s easy, it’s a waste of your time.  If it scares the shit out of you, now you’re getting somewhere.

THE FACE OF COMFORT

People eat junk food, stay in shitty jobs, and drink beer before talking to girls all because comfort is their master.  Comfort says “Let’s do what’s easy.”  Let’s get smashed instead of speaking to a girl.  Let’s stay at this job that covers the bills, provides a bit of savings plus two weeks vacation,  and leaves me with a gaping hole in my heart.

Comfort is like water.  It’s flowing downhill and it doesn’t care how it gets there.  Comfort is a bullshit artist.

A stunner walks past you in the street, and you know you should stop her, talk to her.  Comfort will tell you:

She probably has a boyfriend.  Plus it wouldn’t be appropriate to stop her in public, it just might bother her.  And you’re running a bit late besides.   And blah, blah, bullshit rationalization, blah  . . .

When you push past the that crap and resolve to suck it the fuck up, something else perks up.  Fear.  It spikes your adrenaline and seizes your chest with primal terror.  It makes your guts squirm.  It secretes glue out of your feet and turn your legs to lead.

When you finally pass it up and let that girl walk out of your life, comfort is quick to console you.

You didn’t need that.  Plus she wasn’t THAT pretty anyway.

It knows that acknowledging your cowardice just might make you uncomfortable enough to change.

THE FACE OF FEAR

Fear emerges at the edge of comfort, when comfort starts to slip.  Fear shows up when you are about to do something great.  The shortness of breath you feel, the locked chest and lead legs, those are fear.

People misinterpret fear.  They think it’s telling them to back down, to give in and slip back into comfort.  They avoid fear and treat it like a dog treats an electric fence.  It marks the boundaries of their life.

They could not have it more backwards if they tried.  Fear is the signal of a near-life experience.  Fear is the alarm clock telling you that you need to wake the fuck up.  Because it’s go time.  You’re about to do something awesome and you need to be there for it.

WHAT TO DO ABOUT IT

The next time you are in a bar, see a pretty girl you know you should talk to, and feel your chest lock up in fear try this:

• Acknowledge it.  Say out loud: “I’m feeling afraid of saying a few words to a 100lb girl”
• Open your body language.  Show your palms, expose your throat, take up  more space.
• Take a deep breath.
• Thank the fear for showing you what you need to do.  For revealing how you can grow.
• Get up and go say “I haven’t met you yet.  I’m [X]“

Courage is a muscle which becomes a habit which becomes a character trait which becomes the defining aspect of a person’s life.  Start exercising your courage and you are on your path to becoming the man.  And remember: you can only display courage when you feel fear.

So thank God for fear.  I know of no better decision making tool.  If something scares you, yet has very little odds of causing physical harm, you have to do it.  Simple as that.  If you can’t, you must.

via @ http://www.kickassacademy.com/how-to-make-decisions/