We’re all familiar with the difference between learning about seduction and doing it. You have everything you need to become great at seduction within yourself…but you are also, paradoxically, your own worst enemy. Reading Seddit and watching pickup videos all day will not get you where you want to go; in fact, a whole other skill set is required to actually translate all that knowledge/ambition into action/results. This post is my attempt to explain these core, "meta" skills in a way that is IMMEDIATELY USEFUL IN REAL LIFE.
Just a few opening notes--skip if you want to go straight to the info
- My singular focus here on purely practical techniques/mindsets is not meant to imply that they somehow replace learning about the theory of seduction. Learning from experts, and from communities like Seddit, is an indispensable part of the growing process. Absorb all the information you possibly can; just make sure you apply everything you take in.
- I either have done or currently do everything below. It all actually works (for me).
- If you find the ideas below obvious, way underneath your skill level, complicated, weird, or morally reprehensible then that is totally fine! There’s more than one way to skin a cat. What makes perfect sense to me may just not be the way you see the world. Communicating about those differences would be great, actually!
- I come from an end-justifies-the-means, workaholic, high-intensity, impatient mindset; it's just the way I am most of the time. My personality bias probably has both strengths and weaknesses, so keep both in mind as you read.
- If you are psychiatrically sick, then get that shit treated! Doing this with a healthy mind is hard enough!...if your mind is fucked, so are you.
ORGANIZE
- Make a to-do list. Online is the best way (quicker, don’t lose it, less paper…). Whenever you think of something you should do in the future, take a few seconds and put it on your to-do list--immediately if possible. When you make a task, assign it a SPECIFIC due date. I like the web-app "Toodledo"; though the name is silly, the application is free and simple while still allowing a lot of awesome complexity in managing your goals and tasks if you want it. Anyhow, use whatever you’re most comfortable with. Update your list daily at least (those of you with smartphones have no excuse).
- Use a calendar. This is self-explanatory. When you really get busy (especially juggling a bunch of relationships) the calendar will be essential. Fuck, I think it’s essential regardless.
- Set weekly goals. They should be specific and difficult; you must be highly committed to completing them or at least doing your honest best. Don’t set more than one weekly goal at a time for any one domain of your life; this important! If you can achieve more than one goal, then your goals are not difficult enough.Just as an example, I make one goal for each of three categories every week (intellectual, social, personal for me—use whatever categories sound good to you)…and I accomplish them about 80% of the time—that’s my sweet spot.
- Keep a log. Keep track of your results daily, using numbers! Quantitative logging is the closest thing to objective feedback on your game that you can give yourself, and it is immensely valuable. I have a fucking Excel file where I record how many times I approached, #/k/f closed, and also a bunch of other things (# of drinks, hours wasted, time spent reading, time spent on Reddit… you get the idea). No explanations, noqualitative analysis, definitely no names; takes about 20 seconds to update every day. For me it was boring at first, but now I can actually look at graphs of how my vices were reduced and my skills were improved over the last month or so. When progress is so tangible, your motivation to do even better is really amplified.
- Do a SWOT analysis of your game. SWOT stands for strengths, weaknesses, opportunities, and threats. It will help you pinpoint what you need to practice (EG, calibration, approaching, getting the number, going for the kiss….); it will help you avoid making stupid mistakes; it will give you confidence, or at least you will be firmly grounded in your self. This holistic perspective will make your growth significantly moreconsistent.
EXECUTE, EXECUTE, EXECUTE.
- Start with the type of game that you are best at. Beginners: if you are awesome at house parties then don’t feel pressure to go to the club. Do what gets you the best results until you’re at a point where your skills finally generalize across all social contexts. Self-confidence is critical to advancing past the early stages of learning pickup, and it can only come from some sort of positive reference experiences.
- When in doubt, GO OUT. Don’t get caught up organizing and micromanaging everything. Going out always comes first. If you have time before or after going out, THEN you plan. Pro tip: make time
- Iterate failed goals. When you fail to achieve one of your goals by its due date, first ask yourself: “was this goal actually important to me? Is it now?” If not, then you learn what you can and move on. However, if the goal was important and you still failed, it was too difficult in some way. Take the goal and split it up into simpler component goals and then try those. Example: I failed to approach 10 sets this week because of approach anxiety—so this week I will approach 10 “rigged” sets, like store employees/acquaintances to get into the habit…
- Pussy out like a man. Never pussy out of going out. No matter how scared or lazy you feel, you are going to go out SOMEWHERE… fucking walk around all by yourself and don’t talk to a single girl, if you have to! Go back home after 15 minutes! Doing that is completely superior to reading a bunch of Seddit articles during your going-out time.
- Results ain’t shit (over the short term). So don’t read too much into what happened last night, whether you got blown out by a ton of HB3s or fucked an HB10. Don’t feel like you can stay in and jack off on a Saturday night just because Friday was awesome; or because it was terrible!
- Failure ain’t shit, so fail often. If you’re succeeding every single time you aren’t pushing yourself hard enough.
- Have a game plan when you go out. Good logistics are absolutely necessary--changing just this one parameter can have an instant impact on your game. In general, having a plan for what you want to accomplish/experience when you go out will get you more and better experiences for your time. Leave room for spontaneity of course!
- You have to. Past a certain point of growth in seduction, you realize that it's pretty much too late to turn back; you have taken the red pill, and your glimpse of the possibilities could not be easily forgotten. If you don't get out there and make the changes you want in your life, everything will not be okay. You will live and die in seductive mediocrity. On your deathbed, you will wonder “what if…?”
- Play social games. These allow you to improve your social skills and confidence pretty much anywhere you go.
- Utilize your friends. For example: Every Monday two of my friends and I share our weekly goals via email, and discuss our results from the previous week. It helps make us more accountable and we also get good advice.
- Meditate. Just practice mindfulness during the day; you don't have to close your eyes and sit up straight or any of that. Just be aware of every sensation, pay attention to what's going on in your mind. If you can get to the point where boredom and down-time are replaced by calm, meditative awareness, then you are the b0$$.
- Alcohol. IF you are a beginner, don’t feel bad about drinking a bit to help you get into state. I think the downside to this is often overemphasized. DON'T get piss-drunk, but use alcohol as a tool to help you build a basic foundation of reference experiences. This is controversial—just use your best judgment.
- Exercise/lift/eat healthy. Why the FUCK wouldn't you?? SO SIMPLE, SO MUCH BENEFIT!!
- You are the fucking man. Positive self-talk is not the same as mental masturbation. Constantly talk yourself up. Look in the mirror, point and smile and say “you are COOL AS FUCK!” Yeah it’s silly but that shit works.
Don't try to implement all of this at once. Phase it in gradually. No pressure to get it all right the first time. Especially with things like the weekly goals, missed weeks are common at first...but don't let that be an excuse! Just don't stop improving your ability until you've reached your potential in each one.
I hope this was useful
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