How to Pick the Right One

Qualifying Women

"I wonder what she's like."

This is your new mindset. Embrace it. Fall in love with it. It is your new best friend.

Plenty has been said about the importance of having an abundance mentality as opposed to a scarcity mindset. Women want men who have options. Employers are more likely to hire employees who have other job options. The best negotiators make sure they have viable, alternate options.

But how does one develop an abundance mentality towards women when they've never even kissed one? That, my friends, is the million dollar question. Plenty of great men have waxed poetically about this paradox, and most have utterly failed. Until now. The answer lies in these five simple words: "I wonder what she's like."

As you go through the self-improvement process, you will inevitably reflect upon what you want out of a partner. You will start to grasp what you really want out of life. As you evolve, so will your desires, values, and needs. This is a natural part of becoming a man.

With that in mind, going through life seeking out people, places, and things that fit your desires is only natural. No longer are you thinking, "Will this girl like me?" Instead you are thinking, "I wonder what she's like."

To put it another way, in each interaction, you are looking to expose the underlying truth. It seems so simple, but "What do you do for a living?" takes on a whole new meaning when you follow it up with "Why did you get into that field?" and genuinely care how she answers.

Other Helpful Phrases:

• "I'm curious about that. Tell me more."
• "What are you passionate about?"
• "Why this school? Why not somewhere else?"
• "What made you choose this city for your vacation?"

Learn to seek out the truth. What makes her tick? What is she really passionate about? Is she worthy of your time? Is she girlfriend material or is she someone you will want to invite out to help you cut the line at nightclubs? Figure that shit out. This is how you develop an abundance mentality when you don't have abundance yet. This is how you attract women.

The guys who inquisitively seek out the truth like this are the guys who cause girls to say "I met this guy last night who just... gets me. It was amazing." Be one of those guys.

Calibration

Calibration ties right in with this. You MUST understand how different people, places and situations affect how you can behave. Sometimes a girl just wants to be dry-humped on a dance floor. Other times she wants to spend an hour talking about family, life, and passions. Other times she wants to discuss current events.

There is only one constant: It is YOUR job, as the man, to lead the interaction in a way that she finds pleasurable and sexy. This is your mission.

I am not going to tell you how calibration works in every situation. That is something you MUST learn for yourself. Without reference experiences, you cannot master calibration. That means PRACTICE (Apologies to Allen Iverson.)

The trick here is getting out of your comfort zone. Push your limits, be high energy, be low energy, say something crazy, mess up a girl's hair out of nowhere, pick her up in the air and spin her around, talk to her about sports, ask her about her family, ask her interview questions about her job and where she went to school. Get a drink thrown in your face. Try everything! Over time you will intuitively grasp how to act in different situations and what you can and can't get away with.

But throughout it all, develop a love for finding out who she is and seeing if she's a fit for you. That's the name of the game. That's what qualification is all about.

Action Items

1) Bust out your notebook. Write down a list of women (real, fictional, famous, friends, crushes, whoever) that you find attractive for some reason. Try to jot down at least 10-20. Leave space between each name.

2) Next to each name, write down specific things you find attractive about them. Let your stream of consciousness flow.

Examples: her hair, sense of humor, loves to party, can drink as much as I can, plays guitar, likes Pink Floyd, plays sports, nice breasts, big ass, adorable, Latina, travels, has hot friends, religious, atheist, bisexual, polyamorous

3) Look at the whole mess of text you just wrote. Just soak it in. Stare it for a few minutes with some music on in the background. Just soak it in while you visualize these various women and what they do for you.

4) Repeat the Action Items 5-8 in Part 3, but this time make an effort to seek the truth out in your interactions as laid out above. Journal these encounters and reflect on them.

5) Go to a high-energy nightclub or bar on a weekend with the sole intention of getting rejected in the most hilarious fashion possible. (This mindset is important. Bring friends if possible.) Think of crazy things to ask and do to women, then do it. Then do it to 10 more girls.

Examples: Rub a girl's head and mess up her hair a little. Ask a group of girls their thoughts on The Human Centipede series.

Push your comfort zone. Laugh at the hilarity of the rejections, you've earned it.

6) The next morning, think back on some of your crazy interactions and I guarantee you will realize girls let you get away with a lot more than you thought. Surprise, surprise, you're becoming a spontaneous, fun guy that women find attractive.